Carried Away

Required knowledge before reading: A basic understanding of Bill Murray's character in "Caddyshack". We've had our share of critters on the ranch. First it was the ground squirrels (I call them chipmunks) that dig holes in our yard. My husband flushed them out (literally) with water and a shotgun. We got lucky with a couple of skunks in that they didn't spray before their lives ended. Especially since my daughter was at my husband's side when this took place. The latest Critter War is against the woodchucks. Last weekend we went for a drive by of an Ostrich farm not far from our house. An unfortunate (female) woodchuck ran in front of our car. After we viewed the ostriches, we headed back to view the fallen. Picture the kids cranked out the window exclaiming how big her teeth are and my hubby noticing that it's a female because it has tits (he grew up on a farm). Just think, we could've had woodchuck stew that night! We have had a couple of sight...

I went to a lovely wedding this weekend. Great ceremony – very touching. I wish you could’ve heard the voice track in my head – “Isn’t that sweet, honey? You see how much they love and respect each other? See how he loves her for her and they are best when they’re together? See, love is patient AND kind! Huh, huh, huh???” I do have a loving husband, don’t get me wrong, but there’s always room for improvement (on both sides). We went to the dinner and dance – again, lovely, fun. The meal was French (I believe) and actually had some words on the printed out menu card that I could not pronounce, nor knew exactly what they meant even after getting the food. The cake was to die for and I knew precisely what was in that! At the dance I finally had the chance to redeem myself. When “Dancing Queen” came on, I marched out and got through it without injury. This was important to me. It seemed the last couple of weddings I’d attended had unintended drama and I was not about to have the same t...